It’s been difficult to express what I’ve been going through these recent weeks… a month has blurred into what feels like years. I’ve had to put all goals to the side for a moment and pull my wobbling self to the side of the road. Checking under the hood for my engine problems, I realise that I may have been expecting myself to run without an appropriate level of care and maintenance.
Basic things missed in the day of a bustling electric city – vegetables for nutrients, soluble fibre to draw toxins from the body, exercise to strengthen the heart – these vital pieces of life can rudely be shoved to the sidelines when there are fifty other things to do in a hot minute. And yet… they reveal themselves to be the most important, as do so many keys to sustainable happiness that get hidden in the mayhem of marketing noise that is existence today.
The physical symptoms of the sympathetic nervous system attack that struck me with a sudden intense stutter, oversensitivity to noise, physically inability to hold a pen to write letters of the alphabet and other alarmingly uncomfortable symptoms have all but faded away. Brief occasional moments of a stutter are all that remain to remind me of the shaking wreck my body was only a few weeks ago. With intensive kinesiology I’ve been able to emerge from the fortnight of ineffective prescriptive drug stupor prescribed by well meaning doctors.
This newfound awakening into a gentle recovery zone where I cannot push forward has left my ever striving mind flummoxed. Without ideas racing, words flowing or goals tempting me like delicious carrots, I feel like I’m floating in an unfamiliar bubble of confused reverie.
What do I do with my time? And has the way I’ve been spending it really been the most efficient or sustainable?
Recent events have forced me to conclude that my methods have not in fact been healthy or sustainable – not in the dramatic ways that we see in movies – but in small slow burn ways that undermine health and wellness without much thought.
This serious lack of consideration for self and health has caused me to take stock and decide to spend the next two months of the year looking after me; rewriting the care manual and approaching my time and actions with more thoughtful awareness than ever before.
I am ever grateful for the incredible support from all around me during this time; for wonderful friends and massively encouraging fans and am so excited to journey onwards gently and surely with the kindness and care that I’ve learned I deserve.
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