Body confidence can be a rather shrouded topic, even in these modern times. I use this term to describe the kind of confidence a women can access from not being afraid of being a woman.
Especially here in Asia, it’s not really openly discussed. Yet as always, it’s one of the great inescapables of humanity. So we might as well embrace it for our own enjoyment and empowerment.
Let me first be clear on one thing – my definition of body confidence is not mere acceptance ‘despite our flaws’. It is about learning that each body is perfect just as it is – about accepting ourselves, and celebrating our happiness and confidence in our bodies and what they can do.
As a women, it is one thing to be confident in ones mind and abilities, but I believe there is a massive amount of strength and courage to be found in understanding, accepting and embracing our bodies – flaws and all. Too often the media is followed blindly, encouraging low self esteem, questioned self worth and critical comparison.
Don’t believe it!
Part of growing is seeking to develop ways to care for ourselves, and to rejoice in our favourite parts of ourselves. Even the parts we feel are imperfect.
We’re allowed to feel sexy, to wear lingerie for our own delight, or get a pampering facial or mani-pedi. Doing these things rarely detracts from any other part of our life, and more often than not infuses them with an added dose of confidence, which is a result of caring for ourselves.
I think that a lot of guys have it right – they ignore their flaws and work on highlighting their strengths, which is one of the points I also make about why women should go to see burlesque shows. Many men bald, have hairy backs, beer guts – and yet they pose like hercules in front of the mirror with a giant grin on their face. As women we are allowed to do that too! Of course, personally I’m more of an advocate of being strong and sexy rather than eat-three-pizzas kindof sexy, but each to their own.
Confidence is something that has to be cultivated, and I have discovered that a vital key to developing confidence in ourselves and our bodies is first and foremost the following two-step process:
- Acknowledge any perceived flaws.
- Let ourselves gently forgive and accept these flaws.
That’s it! Although it might sound simple, many of us are so hard on ourselves that it can take some practice to look past the tiny parts we don’t like, and focus on the parts we do. Because that’s the end goal here.
Nobody is perfect, (nope, not even Beyonce, although it may seem so) and we are all allowed to have bad days, fat days, cellulite, weird toes, funny thighs, boofy hair, big noses, or whatever other thing(s) we dislike about ourselves.
Of course we may still think it’s not ideal, but I think the power comes from accepting that it’s not perfect, and then simply not focusing on it any more.
I always thought Ursula had gorgeous white hair, great sass, wonderful curves and a super sexy voice… but she obviously wasn’t happy with her weight. Or tentacles.
I’ll explore this area further in my articles on corsets, burlesque, pin up, confidence & empowerment and body image, so stay tuned and let me know if there’s anything else you’d like me to write about.
And of course, remember to be gentle to yourself today!
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